Resilience versus Transformation
The other day I watched a Ted Talk, the speaker explained the difference between resilience and transformation.
I have never had much choice in the direction of my life, there was a small sliver in between high school and getting married that I had a brief opportunity to shape my own destiny. And I was well on my way to doing exactly what it was I had always wanted to do. With hindsight, I have become aware I was fully capable of achieving all my dreams. I gave up on myself way too easily. Ultimately, I did not believe I could make it on my own, and I truly did not believe anyone would want me. At the first sign of what appeared to be safety, I grabbed it, thinking it was my ticket to a future of my dreams. I have no idea what I was thinking. It was not at all in alignment with my personal goals. I betrayed myself.
In the Ted talk the speaker explained that resilience is like when your roof is damaged you fix the roof, when the furnace breaks down you replace it. That is resilience, you fix and maintain what you already have. Transformation on the other hand, is when the whole house is gone and you are looking at an empty lot. You do not have to build the same house again. You can create what ever you want, you can add more bedrooms, a second floor, whatever you want. There are no limitations. That is transformation.
I want transformation. I have no interest in recreating anything of my past. Its time to dare to dream and think outside the box. Absolutely anything is possible right now. I always wanted to be a psychologist. I was actually on the way to do so, but life circumstances became overwhelming and I had to stop. Suddenly I realized today, why not? I can pick that mantle back up. It was something I loved, and I was intensely interested in doing. I have also always been extremely interested in writing. I do write professionally in my career, but I would like write creatively, maybe write a book. I looked up some courses to get started and I thought that would be something really different and fun to do.
I have been opening up my mind to explore new possibilities. What is it I want my life to be, what do I want to be able to remember in my old age. What kind of life do I want to live. I finally have the opportunity to make all these choices for myself. I am going to take some time and just explore and try some new things. See what it is that really grabs me. I want to follow passions from here on in, pursue joy. I have had enough of practicality and doing the "right" thing. I know a few things I enjoy, I love documentaries. I love babies. I love writing. I love long solitary walks. I am obsessed with sunsets. I wonder what else is out there?
It feels good to finally be able to steer my own ship. What a gift. I want to take the time to get clear on what I want, not follow a path because someone else wants me to go there. I want to find out who Carolynne really is, what does she really enjoy. I want to re-create Carolynne's World into a world that is truly mine. Let's get rolling.