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Mothers Day

Updated: May 15

"Kids always remember who showed up. Not who made a Facebook post, or who texted once or twice a year. They will remember who bothered to rearrange their schedule, to make inconvenient choices, and who made them a priority."

The last few years have been pretty bumpy. Each of my children experienced some pretty deep emotional reactions due to the marriage breakdown. They have also all reacted in different ways. One turned to drugs to cope, another basically went silent, yet another was on an emotional roller coaster lashing out constantly. It was tough. Very early on I decided I was going to do what ever it took to support them. I decided to put my own goals and desires on the back burner for a bit. I spent money I didn't really have to make sure they did not do without. I focused 100 percent on them and their needs. I made those inconvenient choices. I thought to myself, its only a few years out of my life, but for them it is their entire life foundation. I will have the rest of my life to do my own thing. But now, this is their time.

My youngest is almost off to university, and I can say with confidence she is going to be ok. It was a wild ride for a bit, but we made it and we are closer than ever because of it. My youngest son is also on solid footing after two rounds of psychosis and 2 months of rehab recently celebrating 6 months of sobriety. He once again is the kid I once knew. I am so relieved as it did seem the psychosis might be permanent but now it looks like he will be just fine. My oldest two, they are doing well and are both living the lives of productive young adults. I love when they all come home. Sitting around the dinner table hearing them talk and laugh with each other has been so rewarding.

It was not easy just to set my whole life aside, but as a mother that is what you do, and you hope for the best. I realized that we have made it last Sunday (Mothers Day) when my son invited me to go diving. As we all sat there on the shore chatting waiting for the class of divers that was ahead of us to finish up, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. My children are all pretty much young adults now, making there own way. It fills me with pride, especially given the circumstances we had to survive to get to this point. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. My turn is coming soon. For now I will just sit back and enjoy this time we have together. Happy Mothers Day to all you mothers out there fighting the good fight. I remember a time it seemed hopeless, but with perseverance it did turn around and our relationships are closer and stronger than ever. It might be tough right now, but one day your children will thank you. Hang in there.

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